QUIC is the secure UDP-based transport for the modern Internet. It’s taken some time but in the 2019-2020 season, the IETF has edged ever closer to finishing “version 1”. Vendors have been progressively deploying the poster child — HTTP/3 — onto the Web and its going to soon be the new normal. Now we need to see what’s hot in the upcoming 2020-2021 season. Eyes are turning to enhancements, extensions and new features. At Demuxed 2019 we heard the often-rehashed orgin story of QUIC. This time we won’t treat the audience like chumps. We’ll focus on the new super powers of Datagram and WebTransport a dynamic duo that break the rules and change the game. We’ll also try a show not tell approach, which might be great, or might be crap. Imagine the Magician from that Dungeons and Dragons cartoon you vaguely remember. By the end, you’ll know some of their secrets and possibly be inspired to go and be your own hero, or anti-hero, in the marvelous QUIC-ematic universe. Presented at Demuxed 2020.